The Loveliest Little Bitch

Remember me?

2007-04-26T00:39:00.001+02:00

You know, it has been so long since the last post that.. you know what, we will start all over. Because.. I really didn't even do that when I started the new blog either, did I?

Well ok, Hello! I am Kirsti and I look like this:

Except for when I take photos really close up then I look like this:

Oh!By the way, I dyed my hair brown and I Like It!

Also I have a boyfriend, and together we look like this:

Except for when we kiss then we look like this:

Anyway, I decided it was MAYBE time to put something new up here when my boyfriend decided to copy and paste a paragraph from one of my most recent posts. We have been together 7 months now. (Like, today! Send cake and vodka! And balloons!) So he goes to my blog and finds the following like, two lines down, and decides to paste it:

"10 Things I have learned in my 21 year long life that I may or may not just be putting up here to get SOMETHING on this new blog and also introducing:

...longest title ever!

3. Single life is underrated."

It really is not fair. And slightly lazy to not update for 7 months. So my solution to this is to put something new on here. And also.. how do I get one of those "no right clicks on this page" things? That keeps people from copying things on my site? And how can I make it so that it only works when people are trying to copy something to use against me? Can someone give me the html for that please? And I will now go and edit the post, to add some new points on that list, which will be:

11. Having to stand for what you have written is totally overrated.

12. Changing opinons is underrated. And totally allowed. And should never even be commented upon.

13. Uhm... People who use my own words to ruin my point should... Should give me Coronas. And hugs.

And.. I really don't know what to write. Oh, I will tell you what is going on in my life! In a list!

Things I have been doing/will be doing/am doing right now

1. I went to see 300! Which I have heard is like porn for women. So I was all looking foreward to it. Then, you ask me, was the movie any good? Well I do not know. Because I spent the entire movie searching through my handbag for my stirer! You know the little plastic stick you use to stir your coffee with? I bought a cappuccino, and I took two packs of sugar and a stirer and put them in my handbag. Then we went and sat down in our seats.

So, how many places are there in a handbag where a 6 inch long plastic stick can hide? Have a guess. My calculations are approximately seven thousand billion. Minimum. That thing was just GONE. I found my two packs of sugar.. TOGETHER. So it should have been with them but NO! Well you need your stirer, or else you get all the sugar on the bottom so you drink bitter, unsweetened coffee at first, then get two sips with yucky, sickening all-sugar coffee. Which I do not want. So I searched for my long, big, honking plastic stick. But it was GONE! HOW CAN IT HAVE DISSAPPEARED?? I only had my wallet, my cellphone, the (then empty!) packs of sugar and a chapstick in my handbag and all of those were by the end of the movie spread out on the seat next to me while I was holding my handbag upside down and vigarously shaking it. (Which I am sure did not distract any of the other movie-goers. At least I turned my cellphone off). But it did not show up. I even stayed behind untill they turned the lights on to see if it was on the floor but no! Gone! It must have hit a time-warp. Probably, had I paid any attention to the movie I would have seen my stirer lying neatly in the sand by some newly impaled sci-fi-looking enemy.

2. Oh you might wonder why I am sitting up now in the middle of the night writing my blog when I should be sleeping? Oh but I will tell you. I ate bacon! That is the very reason. See it was stale bacon. And I thought well if I cut the stale pieces off I should be fine. Right? Stale never equalled deadly. And the pack said best before May 14 and it is not even May yet and damnit I am eating this bacon if it is the last I do, and what do you know, it feels like it might just be.

So, story goes on, I eat my spaghetti carbonara (with bacon pieces. And garlic! Yum garlic!) and all is well and truly fine with the world. So I clean and do laundry and I talk with my boyfriend and do some schoolwork (read: work on my statistics on FreeCell) and then decide that I am sleepy and want to go to bed. But just as I am about to do that I hear

Stomach: Growl.

Me: Huh?

Stomach: GROWL! Noise. pain. Ache.

Me: No no. I do not get food poisoning.

Stomach: It's the bacon

Me: No I cut off all the stale pieces.

Stomach: Gr! o! wl!

Me: No, I just recovered from The Grossest Cold Ever. I will not be sick now.

Stomach: Wanna bet?

I will spare you the details, but here is a short dialogue which took place half an hour later as I walked out of the bathroom.

Kirsti's mind: Ooooh I spy with my little eye something in the kitchen beginning with D!

Kirsti: No No No No No

Kirsti's mind: Yes! It iiiis the Dirty Casserole With The Leftover Carbonara Sauce And Bacon Bits!

Kirsti: Not! Cleaning! Going! To Bed!

Kirsti's mind: It will smell more in the morning! You can smell it in your bedroom! You will smell it all night! You can smell it now and it is making you sick again!

Kirsti: I will clip wonderbaum to my upper lip.

But still. I had to clean it. Which I hope you all understand was very traumatic. So now I am helping myself back to normality with a cold beer. Alcohol does wonders for upset stomachs I understand. Anyways, now I am feeling fine. Just not very sleepy anymore. Thank you for asking.

3. Exams are coming up. Which means that I will talk alot about revising. I will think about revising. I will fret and stress about revising. But I won't actually revise untill the exams are less than a week away. Which means many late nights, long days at the libaray and approximately 2000 cups of coffee each day. And you know for each and every single cup of coffee I drink I will go searching through my handbag ONE MORE TIME for that DAMN stirer because... Well it HAS GOT to be there somewhere!

I leave you for months then I return with a meme

2007-03-16T19:14:00.000+01:00

How could you not love me??

Look at the list of books below.
*Bold the ones you’ve read
*Italicize the ones you want to read
*leave blank the ones that you aren’t interested in. If you are reading this, tag your it!

1.The Da Vinci Code (Dan Brown)
2.Pride and Prejudice (Jane Austen)
3.To Kill A Mockingbird (Harper Lee)
4. Gone With The Wind (Margaret Mitchell)
5. The Lord of the Rings: Return of the King (Tolkien)
6. The Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring (Tolkien)
7. The Lord of the Rings: Two Towers (Tolkien)
8. Anne of Green Gables (L.M. Montgomery)
9. Outlander (Diana Gabaldon)
10.A Fine Balance (Rohinton Mistry)
11.Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire (Rowling)
12.Angels and Demons (Dan Brown)
13.Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix (Rowling)
14. A Prayer for Owen Meany (John Irving)
15. Memoirs of a Geisha (Arthur Golden)
16.Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone (Rowling)
17. Fall on Your Knees(Ann-Marie MacDonald)
18. The Stand (Stephen King)
19. Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban(Rowling)
20. Jane Eyre (Charlotte Bronte)
21. The Hobbit (Tolkien)
22. The Catcher in the Rye (J.D. Salinger)
23. Little Women (Louisa May Alcott)
24. The Lovely Bones (Alice Sebold)
25. Life of Pi (Yann Martel)
26. The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy (Douglas Adams)
27. Wuthering Heights (Emily Bronte)
28. The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe (C. S. Lewis)
29. East of Eden (John Steinbeck)
30. Tuesdays with Morrie(Mitch Albom)
31. Dune (Frank Herbert)
32. The Notebook (Nicholas Sparks) No wait.. I might only have read message in a bottle. Not sure about this one
33. Atlas Shrugged (Ayn Rand)
34. 1984 (Orwell)
35. The Mists of Avalon (Marion Zimmer Bradley)
36. The Pillars of the Earth (Ken Follett)
37. The Power of One (Bryce Courtenay)
38. I Know This Much is True(Wally Lamb)
39. The Red Tent (Anita Diamant)
40. The Alchemist (Paulo Coelho)
41. The Clan of the Cave Bear (Jean M. Auel)
42. The Kite Runner (Khaled Hosseini)
43. Confessions of a Shopaholic (Sophie Kinsella)
44. The Five People You Meet In Heaven (Mitch Albom)
45. Bible (not in it’s entirety)
46. Anna Karenina (Tolstoy)
47. The Count of Monte Cristo (Alexandre Dumas)
48. Angela’s Ashes (Frank McCourt)
49. The Grapes of Wrath (John Steinbeck)
50. She’s Come Undone (Wally Lamb)
51. The Poisonwood Bible (Barbara Kingsolver)
52. A Tale of Two Cities (Dickens)
53. Ender’s Game (Orson Scott Card)
54. Great Expectations (Dickens)
55. The Great Gatsby (Fitzgerald)
56. The Stone Angel (Margaret Laurence)
57. Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (Rowling)
58. The Thorn Birds (Colleen McCullough)
59. The Handmaid’s Tale (Margaret Atwood)
60. The Time Traveller’s Wife (Audrew Niffenegger)
61. Crime and Punishment (Fyodor Dostoyevsky)
62. The Fountainhead (Ayn Rand)
63. War and Peace (Tolsoy)
64. Interview With The Vampire (Anne Rice)
65. Fifth Business (Robertson Davis)
66. One Hundred Years Of Solitude (Gabriel Garcia Marquez)
67. The Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants (Ann Brashares)
68. Catch-22 (Joseph Heller)
69. Les Miserables (Hugo)
70. The Little Prince (Antoine de Saint-Exupery)
71. Bridget Jones’ Diary (Fielding)
72. Love in the Time of Cholera (Marquez)
73. Shogun (James Clavell)
74. The English Patient (Michael Ondaatje)
75. The Secret Garden (Frances Hodgson Burnett)
76. The Summer Tree (Guy Gavriel Kay)
77. A Tree Grows in Brooklyn (Betty Smith)
78. The World According To Garp (John Irving)
79. The Diviners (Margaret Laurence)
80. Charlotte’s Web (E.B. White)
81. Not Wanted On The Voyage (Timothy Findley)
82. Of Mice And Men (Steinbeck)
83. Rebecca (Daphne DuMaurier)
84. Wizard’s First Rule (Terry Goodkind)
85. Emma (Jane Austen)
86. Watership Down(Richard Adams)
87. Brave New World (Aldous Huxley)
88. The Stone Diaries (Carol Shields)
89. Blindness (Jose Saramago)
90. Kane and Abel (Jeffrey Archer)
91. In The Skin Of A Lion (Ondaatje)
92. Lord of the Flies (Golding)
93. The Good Earth(Pearl S. Buck)
94. The Secret Life of Bees (Sue Monk Kidd)
95. The Bourne Identity (Robert Ludlum)
96. The Outsiders (S.E. Hinton)
97. White Oleander (Janet Fitch)
98. A Woman of Substance (Barbara Taylor Bradford)
99. The Celestine Prophecy (James Redfield)
100.Ulysses (James Joyce)

I don't do meme's..

2006-10-17T20:02:00.000+02:00

But that is a lie. I love them. And Fizzy made a good one so here you go!

Tell me 1 piece of information about yourself that I really should never know
I am very impatient, and whenever I have to calm myself down from this I pull dead skin of my lip... I look like a freak doing it and it makes my lips all sore but it's really effective

Tell me 2 colours that you would never ever ever wear
Yellow and neon green. Saying that, I will probably wear it tomorrow. Just those are my least favourite colors

Tell me 3 things that you love to eat
Pasta
Chinese
Hamburgers

Tell me 4 things that you would never ever serve to a guest at your dinner table
Certain types of fish (ok almost all)
boiled potatoes without sauce
Beans
boiled or steamd vegetables

Tell me 5 things that keep forgetting to buy from the supermarket
Toilet Paper
Drinking Water
Dinner for tomorrow (so I always have to go back the next day)
Salt
Pasties (which is good for the waistline but depressing when I have promised myself and looked foreward to it all day)

Tell me 6 things about the Autumn that you love
The colors
Kicking dry leaves in the street
Getting to take my out my hats, gloves and scarfs (I love them!)
Autumn shoes :D
It getting darker and darker ouside then the christmas lights get put up (ok more winter but I am struggling here)
The air feels so fresh

Tell me 7 things that you value about your family
They share my sense of humor
They always know even if I don't tell
When they do know they keep schtum untill I am ready to tell myself
They keep me in line, never let me get away with anything
Just about the only people that argue with me when I am wrong, but very stubborn
The good times we have together
What we been through together

Tell me 8 things that you like to watch on TV
LOST
Friends
Uh.. that's about it

But if I am bored:
Whose line is it anyway?
Mythbusters
American Chopper
Medium
Ghost Whisperer
CSI

Tell me 9 things that you loved about school
LovED?! I AM IN SCHOOL!

The long vacations! (if I ever get one of them "jobs" I will have panic attacks when I realize I won't have 2 months summerholiday)
I have alot more control of how I spend my time
I like learning stuff..
If I chose I can have my days free and work nights, which I much prefer
No one's gonna care if I fall asleep in lectures.. now try falling asleep at your desk
People I meet are here to learn, not show off what they know
Show up in your jammies? No one lifts an eyelid
Freedom.. and stuff
OH! The professors are cool

Now no one tell me we were gonna answer this about elementary school because that time sucked

Tell me 10 of the little things that you love about life
The lovely friends I have
The cold side of the pillow when you turn it around
Waking up seeing a blue sky
Waking up hearing birds sing
Holding a hot cappuccino when it is really cold and sour outside
Walking out of the classroom on Friday afternoon
How things have a nice way of working out in the end if you just keep it up long enough
Chocolate covered donuts
When spring finally comes through after winter, on the first day you finally realise it's spring
The feeling upon finishing a project I never thought I'd finish

It's a cruel, cruel summer. Or: Eye of the Vipera Berus

2006-08-31T13:29:00.000+02:00

Did you know I am scared of snakes. Do you know we only have one mildly poisonous one of them in Norway? (acctually I believe adder is the right term? For this kind? We don't care. It is a big-ass evil poisonous SNAKE! Have you seen Steve Irvin coming to Norway? No. It is because this snake, this ADDER is TOO ICKY AND SCARY EVEN FOR HIM!)

Now. Did you know that it is illegal to kill this snake-adder? Because there are so few left of it? I know! Best. News. Ever. Become exctint! Someone else can eat the mice! We have cats! Begone evil Adder of Hell! But NONO! Guess what!! This year has been a good year for critters! Which equals. Lots of food for must-die-adder. So. This year? ADDER YEAR! Year of the SNAKE! Welcome to Norway! My closest holiday country! Anyone wants to come over and walk in the wilderness with me? Where there are evil, nasty semi-poisonous snakes IN ABUNDANCE! Hi! I love my country! And if you see one? You may not kill it. Because that would be illegal. So this summer has been a scary summer for me. Ok, so if you get bitten you won't just DIE, it is a matter of like itching and getting irritated (and scared out of your mind.) UNLESS! HAH! UNLESS! You are a small child (who cares?) or ALLERGIC! Now who is allergic to everything? ME! So this summer has been a nice summer of sitting indoors, never letting my feet touch the floor and jumping at every sound that even remotely resembles a hiss. If I go outdoors I risk running into THIS:

"Heloooo. I am ze French adder! Who wantz a piece of moi? You cannoz 'urt me! 'a'a!"

Apparently how you recognice an "adder" from the worm-like non dangerous snakey things is that only this little bastard can lift his head. So the actual test to run, they told me, is to LIFT the hell-sent creature up by the tail and see if he just hangs there or if he lifts himself up to a u-shape. Now look at this fella long and hard and... would you lift him by the tale to CHECK or would you shout bloody murder and run like fuck. Straight into the next one because THERE ARE LOTS OF THEM! EVERYWHERE!

"I can totally see you and your allergic self with my evil eye of death! Come play with me!"

So as you can see. Rough times here in Norway. Please send vodka, ancle protectors and PLEASE can someone get me a licence to kill?!

Let's talk about it, eh?

2006-08-22T16:05:00.000+02:00

You know. I blog all nerdy like. And I am getting edumacated to become a psychologist. But when it comes to "Talk About It" like the serious talk-talk that needs to be had sometimes? I am gone. I HATE it. And seeing as I just broke off a relationship where we had to TALK about everything because apparently EVERYTHING was a HUGE problem with us because ONE of us and I won't mention names except it was not me and it starts with a P and ends with aul, was one huge-ass whiner.

Anyways. I am TIRED of talking things through. No more talk. From now on, instead, I will leave subtle hints on my blog for everyone I know to read and pick up. If you think it is about you? It probably is. I think that is the most mature and conciderate thing to do. Untill school starts up again, I claim the right to NOT talk about it, I am single fresh out of the box and I am ENTITLED to be selfish and careless. Right? You Guys? Yes?

And then? Now? There is this other guy? And I won't tell you anything because innernet is not a place to post this right now. But. I got the signs he wanted to TALK. And me? I bailed. I called Marianne so that I would be busy, sorry, cannot talk with you now darlin. And do you know what I did? Being the girl I am? I told Marianne everything I should have told this guy. Marianne, who does not know half the story, if anything, got a long talk about all my feelings and viewpoints. Or lack thereof. Because that's it. Right now. I Do Not Care. Honest. The road split and I stopped and waited for someone to give me a lift. Wherever. I kind of like it.

But when the summer holiday is over I will become responsible again. I promise. And make funny blogposts like a good girl, and not just longwinded ones about my personal life with no dirty details at all.

How to get all prettied up; An essensial guide for every girl everywhere.

2006-08-16T12:55:00.002+02:00

1. Shower. Sing. Loudly. Lather. Rinse. Repeat.

2. Dry off. Search for spray in conditioner. Spray-in conditioner not to be found ANYWHERE. Run around naked and scream at everyone.

3. Shower again. Sing. Louder and Angrier. Lather, Rinse, Repeat and APPLY CONDITIONER.

4. Dry off. Run around naked again and scream at everyone because you are a woman and it is your God-given right. Find deodorant with hands while examining your teeth intensely in the mirror. Spray.

5. Throw out old Brother-in-law's Old Spice spray on crap. Shower again. Lather, Rinse, Throw a tantrum. Condition.

6. Find matching underwear (because you're worth it) with surprisingly little problems. Put on without breaking a seam or any vital bodyparts. Be amazed.

7. Do not find the top that you are going to wear ANYWHERE. Search. Search. Search. Search some more. Run around in your underwear and scream at everyone. Scream at the cats. Scream at the flowers. Scream out the window. Find top mashed into a tiiiny corner in your warderobe. Wrinkly. Scream. Loudly.

8. Plug in curling iron with one hand and iron shirt with other. Throw iron after anyone joking about "best to call the firedepartment now hahaha". Declare half-assed ironed shirt to be done TADAAAA and put on. Because girls never ever spill or make a mess while doing hair and putting on make-up.

9. Start using the curling iron. Be a curling iron idiot. Fry your hair untill it screams for help. Curl everything different ways so some strands of hair curl on up into the universe and some are so tightly pressed up your neck you feel you're on the bus with that nasty, smelly old guy again. Get the curling iron stuck in your hair approximately one thousand trillion times. Throw very heavy and sharp stilletto after anyone inquiring what is taking so long. Watch hair uncurl itself faster than you can curl it. Sigh very loudly.

10. Make up! Get out make up bag. Find spray-in conditioner in make-up bag. Scream. Break something. Pour yourself a generous amount of fine rum. Apply make-up. Spill Mascara Everywhere. Ev. Ery. Where. And on anything. Drink up rest of rum. Smile.

11. Try on 11 000 pairs of shoes. Occationally throw tried-and-rejected shoes at person coughing and dangling car keys.

12. Look at yourself in the mirror. Have stressed out other person lift you up because mirror is mounted too far up the wall. Show gratitude by spending even more time taking 10, 000 pictures of yourself to post on your blog.

13. Be very pleased with result!

Do you see how much concealer there is on this picture? I have not slept in 48 hours! That is in fact not my face. I concealed it and painted on a new one! Also, if my arms were half as long in real life as they look in that picture maybe I could actually reach things!

...and now give it some tongue!!

Please would someone come brush my hair?

10 Things I have learned in my 21 year long life that I may or may not just be putting up here to get SOMETHING on this new blog and also introducing:

2006-08-16T03:11:00.000+02:00

...longest title ever!

Anyways:

1. You know when you think you're in love? But then you think "uh.. am I REALLY in love or am I just kidding myself?". Then it is not love.

2. Moving out from a house you share with a partner is kind of a big deal.

3. Single life is underrated.

4. I am compulsively rude and sarcastic. Sorry. Can't help it.

5. Drama school sucks. ("Let's pretend we are mushrooms. Now let's pretend we are happy mushrooms! This will prepare us for our glamourous future as out-of-work actors." If I ever go to an audition and get asked to mime a happy mushroom I will gladly eat my own uterus.)

6. Mum was right. I do need a real education.

7. No mess, no creativity. None. Gone. I will lift clothes off the floor, vacuum under them and put them back. Because I would not have it any other way. Always messy, never dirty.

8. If I listen to music I can walk amazingly long distances. Which I suppose is an incentive to start working out but one I am chosing to ignore.

9. I have no in-between. I am always either jumpingly happy and energetic or I am far-far down or mightily pissed off. Mainly the first one.

10. Home is a nice place to visit.